Dear Daveigh – The Fifth Letter

Dear Daveigh,

I can’t lie, I miss you horribly right now.  I never got to see that beautiful smile of yours or hear you cry or see or hear your heartbeat.  It may sound crazy, but when I was on the phone I swear I heard someone say “Mommy”.  It was just above a whisper and so light.  Every day I look at my arm and see the scar from the scratch test.  It’s a constant reminder of me losing you.  I’m crying as I write this to you, my sweet little angel.  I love you and I miss you.  Even though you weren’t a part of me for very long, your a part of my heart.  You will always be my angel.  I’m sorry, I’d write more to you tonight, but I don’t think I have the heart tonight.  Please know that I love you with all my heart.

Love always and forever,
Your Mommy

Dear Daveigh – The Fourth Letter

My Darling Daveigh,

I missed you something awful yesterday.  The thought of you weighed heavy on my mind and nearly brought me to tears.  I want you to know that you are always in my heart and never far from my mind.  Every time I see a woman who is pregnant or who has a newborn baby, I think of you and how beautiful you would have been.  I wonder if you have your father’s eyes and my hair.  I wonder if you have my nose rather than your father’s.   I wonder how your laughter would sound if you were here.

Daveigh, your father needs some guidance, he needs to know you’re okay in Heaven.  More than anything, he wants to know why you were taken.  He’s angry with God and I know he has never truly had a relationship with Jesus or God, but it worries me.  Daveigh, we love you so much and I’d give anything to hold you in my arms, to be able to sing to you like I have done for your sister.  I’d give anything to feel your tiny hand wrapped around my finger.  I’d give anything for your father to find some peace rather than guilt and blame.

Daveigh, you would have loved your uncle.  I know if you’re watching us, you can clearly tell that your daddy’s brother is an absolute mess.  His girlfriend, your aunt, well she is amazing!  They would have taught you so many things and I don’t think I could ever be mad at them for it.  Now, my brothers, well I have plenty of them.  Only one of them is married, but you also have a cousin due to another uncle and his girlfriend.  Let’s see, we also have mommy’s close friends who are practically your aunts because mommy has known them for so long.  Needless to say, Mommy and Daddy have a family consisted of close friends and relatives who I know would have adored you just as much as we do.

Your grandparents, well this gets tricky (sort of).  You have Daddy’s parents, we’ll call them Granddad and GiGi, plus their significant others.  Then we have Mommy’s parents, Pop and Lola and Nennie and DeeDee.  Pop is Mommy’s father and Nennie is Mommy’s mother.  Lola is Pop’s wife, end of story.  DeeDee is Nennie’s husband.  You also have Granddaddy and Grandma, they are Mommy’s grandparents so technically they are your Great-grandparents plus their significant others.  That’s a lot of arms to hold you and spoil you rotten, isn’t it?

Then there are your great aunts and uncles and you have quite a few.  The ones watching over you in Heaven are the following:

  • Desmond – Mommy’s brother from another Mother.
  • Maw – Mommy’s Grandma (Nennie’s mom)
  • Paw – Mommy’s Grandpa (Nennie’s dad)
  • Nanny – Daddy’s Grandma (Granddad’s mom)
  • Granddad – Daddy’s Grandpa (Granddad’s dad)
  • Mama Ruth – Daddy’s Great-Grandma
  • Big Daddy – Daddy’s Great-Granddad
  • Ma’am – Mommy’s Great-Grandma
  • Pip – Mommy’s Great-Grandpa
  • Papa Dale – Mommy’s Grandpa (Pop’s stepfather)

There are so many others up there with you and I know they are all taking such good care of you.  They will all teach you so many things and Mommy and Daddy can’t wait to meet you and hold you one day.

We can’t wait to give you a big kiss and tell you how much we missed you.  You are perfect, just the way you are, please know that.  Please know that we did want you and still do.  You are our Angel baby.  We love you with all our hearts and know you are in better hands.

 

With all my love,
Your Mommy